A snapshot of my life

A love story...

2009-06-12T15:32:00.003+08:00

I usually don’t think much about my age. Maybe because I think I’m still young at 26. However my parents are starting to get worried about me not getting married yet. When I was younger, the seniors among my relatives including my parents had advised me to concentrate on finishing my studies first before involving myself into any serious relationship with a man. Ironically now the question about marriage has become one of the most talked about topic people ask me; not only by my parents and relatives but also by colleagues and friends. I would be lying if I say their innocent and well-meant questions do not affect me. As a normal 26 year old girl (am I still qualified to be called a girl at 26?!), I also dream of living happily ever after with a loving husband besides me and beautiful little children of my own to care of.

It’s very hard to explain and in fact I don’t want people around me to know that my love life isn’t that simple. At the moment, things are pretty static and stagnant. The love is always there, mutual and full of hope but how to move forward with the storyline I do not know. Only time will tell how my love story would start its new chapter. I have always prayed that it would be a happy one. I hope I would not get hurt.

What am I waiting for is always the question. I have finished my studies and I have a stable job. I have a man whom I love dearly and who seems to also love me. True! What else am I waiting for? However for now it is best that the answer remains between me and him.

Love for me began with a feeling of likeness towards the other person. It didn’t take long before it evolved into something greater. Something so deep that no words can truly described it. LOVE. It’s beautiful, humbling, and full of hope. It fills my heart with joy and removes the emptiness that has once overtaken me. It has also matured me as I experienced the bitterness of lies and betrayals… and the true meaning of understanding and forgiveness.

It is time that my love story should move forward. May Allah provides us with the way.

What day is it today?

2009-05-09T22:18:00.003+08:00

Saturday May 9th 2009 - I woke up with an unsettled feeling in my heart this morning. It didn't take me long to recall the reason behind that unpleasant feeling... I'm doing a 24 hour duty today!! I keep on telling myself 'so what... just do your job sincerely.' I went to work as usual... in clinic this morning I saw my old friend from high school. We've lost contact for almost 10 years!! and there she was bringing her baby for a check-up. She told me she got married last year. She looked radiant... content with life it seemed. We exchanged phone numbers and I told her if I have problems with my cats, I will text her and she must reply... (hehe taking advantage... she's a vet!)

At lunch time I managed to talk with my boyfriend... He's been so busy with work lately especially with the handing over and all $%&$%#@.... we talked for a good while and it was nice that we managed to talk about something that has been bothering me over the last week... I felt good after that...

It's 10.30pm now... my day will conclude tomorrow morning at 8am. So far my on call has been good Alhamdulillah. Hopefully tonight will be a good night...

Moral of the story: Begin the day with a positive thinking... good things will follow InsyaAllah.

Mid way through 2009 already???

2009-05-08T16:35:00.003+08:00

May 2009... Hmm The last post I wrote here was in Nov 2007. Where had the past 1.5 years gone to? Like cars which are getting faster and faster nowadays, time has seemed to upgrade itself to a higher speed too! I don't know if any of you noticed, but time flies by very fast nowadays...

My poor abandoned blogspot $@#^&* I plan to make it active again...

I'm home now. New Zealand has become my past life since 1.5 years ago. Yet it is still very much in my heart...

Currently I'm blending myself into the health community here. I'm content with the path that I've chosen in this career. I'm training to be a GP.

The other part of my life is.... hmm.... let's just say I didn't expect things to become quite complicated... but then who said life is easy??

Seafood galore

2007-11-04T09:52:00.000+08:00

Had a very satisfying dinner last night. Fresh mussels!!! We worked hard for our food ;) we picked the mussels ourselves. Yesterday me and Erica went to one of the rocky beaches here. We went during the low tide and picked some decent sized mussels. There were a lot of them. After eating those fresh mussels, frozen mussels would never taste the same again. The fresh mussels were heavenly yummy lol... we boiled them in plain water and ate them just like that +/- a bit of fresh lemon juice. Cepat dimasak sedap dimakan hehe

2007-11-04T09:47:00.000+08:00

Went home to Brunei and now back in NZ. Time flies so fast... Still Syawal... Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin. Remember forgive people everyday not just during Syawal. Forgive people before we go to sleep everyday InsyaAllah we'll be happier.

A memorable night - 2 arrests

2007-09-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

This morning after work, I kept on sighing (mengeluh) when I thought back on how horrible the nights had been. However after a while, I soon realized what's to sigh about... I felt embarrassed with myself and more importantly towards Allah. I should be sincere with my work and even though it had been rough, maybe there is good behind it. Maybe Allah wants to test me during this blessed month of Ramadhan. And I should engrain deeply in my mind that Allah hates people who sigh.

Last night, it started off quiet. A few patients came to ED but there were only minor cases. I spent most of the early part of the night surfing the net. However at 0415 am when I was just thinking about eating my sahur, the crash alarm went off which meant someone was having a cardiac arrest. It turned out to be in ICU and when I arrived there the nurses had already started chest compressions as per the CPR protocol. We tried our best for 15 min when we finally stopped and declared him dead.

At 0715 to my horror, another crash alarm went off, again in ICU. I ran up from ED so fast I thought I could win the marathon (lol... exaggerating mode ON). Anyway on a serious note, when I arrived as usual the nurses had already started CPR, and we worked on him for about 5 min, gave him a shot of adrenaline and I intubated him when suddenly he 'came back', he started breathing and his heart started to beat again. Alhamdulillah!!

What made that night memorable was 2 cardiac arrests in one night is just so rare (in this hospital that is). And it was my first time ever to deal with it during night duty when I was the only doctor in the hospital. The consultants arrived when the actions were over. I learnt a lot despite the initial fright. I didn't even have time to panic which was a good thing lol... Just get into action. Thank you Allah for helping me in such difficult times.

Rough night...

2007-09-24T13:09:00.000+08:00

I missed the subuh prayer this morning... I'm bathed with guilt... O' Allah I'm so weak. In my earlier posts prior to Ramadhan I described about how my 'hati nda tenang', since then I promised myself not to leave daily prayers...

3 down, 4 more nights to go... Last night was rough! Patients kept on coming so much so I thought I've seen half of this town's population. I started work at 11pm and I was already greeted with 2 admissions. 10 min later, an unconscious kid arrived via ambulance, followed by a lady with heart racing up to >200 beats/min. While I was stabilizing the lady, every cubicle (9 altogether) in the emergency department (ED) was occupied. Cleared a few, more came to fill in the space... I finally cleared ED by 6.30am! at this time I still had to write notes on patients whom I sent home since I didn't get the chance earlier. At 7am another chest pain arrived... Initially I lost count on the number of patients I admitted!! Alhamdulillah the patients in the ward were behaving themselves otherwise it would have been a real nightmare. Night shifts are tough because you're the only doctor covering the entire hospital (~100 beds). Some nights are really quiet but so far I've been kept quite busy.

I usually pack food for sahur... last night I only had time to eat a few spoons of the mee goreng. But Alhamdulillah I still had sahur. However I missed the subuh prayer. I should have left the patients for a few minutes once I know they're stable. O' Allah my Iman is so weak. I didn't set my priorities right... You Allah helped me to go through last night but did I thank You? Instead I missed my 'appointment' with You. Forgive me O' Allah... guide me to the right path. The path that pleases You.

Al-Baqarah (2: 238)
"Guard strictly (five obligatory) As-Salawat (the prayers) especially the middle Salat. And stand before Allah with obedience."

Another set of night shift

2007-09-21T11:08:00.001+08:00

Tonight I'll be starting another set (7 nights) of night shift. A bit anxious but not as bad as anticipating the first one a few months ago. May Allah make this week easier for me Amin...

After finishing this task, I'll be leaving for home for my 3 weeks holiday. May my holiday spending Ramadhan in Brunei with my family be blessed by Allah. Two things can happen at home depending on my ability to control my nafs (nafsu). First, i could become slack with Brunei preparing for Hari Raya, with having a car making it easy for me to go shopping, lots of special TV programmes (the so-called Ramadhan/Raya special), lots of food tempting me to buy and eat lots. May Allah protect me from being slack. The second possibility is that with the support of my family, relatives, friends and Muslimin in Brunei, i'll be able to observe the month of Ramadhan with more taqwa. Furthermore being on leave from work means I have more time for Allah. My aim is for the later and that is the main purpose I decided to go home. May Allah give me strength to control my nafs and not destroy my initial intention. Amin...

Reflect on what we asked for

2007-09-20T12:30:00.000+08:00

Du'a is very important in the life of a Muslim. We're asking from Allah our needs and our hopes, and in a way we're declaring that we're very reliant towards Allah on every aspect of our lives. It's logic... if we're that self-reliant, we don't really need to ask for help. But we're not... because we will always ask for help one way or another. Rasulullah SAW used to say "du'a is a weapon for the Muslimin - doa ialah senjata orang Muslim."

Al-Baqarah (2:186)
Allah said: "and when My slaves ask you concerning Me, tell them I am near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright."

Allah will respond to our du'a as long as we obey Allah and believe in Him.

However have we ever reflected on what we asked for? In our society, we always want to excel in our academic performance, have good jobs, good money, nice car etc etc... We pray to Allah to continue/increase His provisions towards us (murahkan rezeki) so that we can achieve our ambition. This is not wrong but the weakness of du'a like this is that it's only for this world.

Ask ourselves what's our final destination?? We die and then we have the HereAfter (Akhirah) to wait for. What's our goal? Paradise or otherwise? So when we say our du'a we should always ask for both of this world and also Akhirah. When we asked Allah to murahkan rezeki, we must think of the aim of asking for the increased rezeki i.e. so that we are able to spend it for Allah's cause (e.g. to help our parents, the poor, the orphans, to share our knowledge with others, to help our society with the job Allah gave us, etc). May Allah guides us to the right path.

Al-Baqarah (2:200 -202)
'...But of mankind there are some who say: "Our Lord! Give us Your Bounties in this world!" and for them there is no portion in the Hereafter.'
'And some of them say: "Our Lord! Give us in this world and also in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire.'
'For them there will be alloted a share for what they have earned...'

Keep going... keep going...

2007-09-18T16:51:00.000+08:00

I am truly tired today. Had spent the whole day assisting in operating theatre, 2 big operations and a few minor ones... My feet are aching, my shoulders' sore...
In terms of my prayers, i feel I'm slack today because of this. My khusyuk during solat was disrupted to a certain extent today. Have I tried my best to focus? Maybe not... I should try harder... This is exactly what I'm scared of... Physically tired from doing worldly matters to the extent of affecting our preparation for Akhirah... Should it be like this? I don't think so. If my Iman is strong enough I should be able to withstand this no matter how tired my body feels. Rasulullah SAW himself used to pray until his feet were swollen.

Narrated Al-Mughira: The Prophet used to stand (in the prayer) or pray till both his feet or legs swelled. He was asked why (he offered such an unbearable prayer) and he said, "should I not be a thankful slave." (Sahih Bukhari)

It shows how weak I am still... Being tired doesn't mean we should decrease our ibadah and it isn't an excuse for not being khusyuk in our solat. We should remember Allah in good and bad times and we should be more patient (sabar). May Allah give me strength to overcome this test.

Al-Baqarah (2:152)
"Therefore remember Me (Allah), I will remember you, and be grateful to Me and never be ungrateful."

Al-Baqarah (2:153)
"O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat. Truly! Allah is with the As-Sabirun (the patient/sabar)."

Imsak = masuk waktu Subuh

2007-09-16T07:36:00.001+08:00

Salaam Ramadhan... Semoga Allah merahmati Muslimin yang berpuasa di Ramadhan yang mulia ani. A few days ago, my friend asked me what time does fajr (Subuh) prayer start so that he can time his sahur. There was some confusion between us because he said we should stop eating about 15 min prior to azan Subuh i.e. imsak. However I remember last year someone told me we can still eat and drink until Subuh starts.

Al-Baqarah (2:187)
"...eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your Saum (fast) till the nightfall.."
"...dan makan dan minumlah kamu hingga jelas bagimu benang putih dari benang hitam (fajar), kemudian sempurnakanlah puasa itu sampai malam..."

Narrated 'Aisha: Bilal used to pronounce the Adhan at night, so Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, "Carry on taking your meals (eat and drink) till Ibn Um Maktum pronounces the Adhan, for he does not pronounce it till it is dawn." (Translation of sahih Bukhari Vol 3 Book 31 No.142)

Abdullah b. Mas'ud (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) had said: "Bilal would pronounce Adhan (at the fag end of the night in order to inform the people about the time of the Sahur). So you eat and drink till you hear the Adhan of Ibn Umm Maktum (which was pro- nounced at the conclusion of the Sahur and the commencement of the fast)." (Translation of sahih Muslim Book 35 No.2399)

Samura b. Jundub reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) had said: "The Adhan of Bilal should not mislead you nor the whiteness (of the pillar) of dawn, for it is not the whiteness of the true dawn, but that of the false dawn which is vertical like a pillar and you can eat food till the streaks of whiteness spread like it." (Translation of sahih Muslim Book 35 No.2408)

Narrated Anas: Zaid bin Thabit said, "We took the Sahur with the Prophet . Then he stood for the prayer." I asked, "What was the interval between the Sahur and the Adhan?" He replied, "The interval was sufficient to recite fifty verses of the Quran." (Translation of sahih Bukhari Vol 3 Book 31 No.144)

It is a common practice amongst us Muslims to stop eating and drinking (sahur) at 10 min before Subuh (the so-called Imsak). However based on Al-Baqarah 2:187 and numerous hadith, we can still eat and drink and stop when it's time to pray the Subuh prayer. Furthermore it's a Sunnah to delay Sahur and hasten the breaking of the fast.
Rasulullah SAW bersabda: "Sentiasalah umatku berada dalam kebaikan selama mereka menyegerakan berbuka dan melambatkan sahur." (H.R. Imam Ahmad dari Abu Zarr r.a)

Semoga kitani diantara orang yang sentiasa beringat2, jadikan Al'Quran dan Sunnah sebagai panduan:
Narrated 'Abdullah: The best talk (speech) is Allah's Book Al-Quran, and the best way is the way of Muhammad, and the worst matters are the heresies (those new things which are introduced into the religion); and whatever you have been promised will surely come to pass, and you cannot escape (it). (Translation of sahih Bukhari Vol 9 Book 92 No. 382)

May Allah gives us hidayah. Semoga perjalanan hidup kita sentiasa diterangi oleh Nur Ilahi... Amin

Ramadhan Kareem

2007-09-15T07:34:00.000+08:00

Here we are again in another bless-full month of Ramadhan. Ramadhan Kareem means generous Ramadhan in which Allah has promised wonderful great rewards to Muslims who observe and practice good deeds.

Narrated Abu Huraira: Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, "When the month of Ramadan comes, the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of the (Hell) Fire are closed, and the devils are chained." (Translation of sahih Bukhari Vol 4 Book 54 No.497)

Ramadhan is a special month and hence let us not make it similar to any other month. Let us reduce the time spent on worldly needs and pleasures. Instead lets feed our suffering souls by remembering Allah and increasing the amount of good deeds. May Allah give us hidayah.

Al-Baqarah (2:183)
"O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may learn self-restraint"

Let us remind ourselves together and not be someone who reminds others of amar maaruf nahi munkar (doing good deeds and forbidding from sin) but we ourselves fail to do it. Nau'zubillah...

Al-Baqarah (2:44)
"Enjoin you Al- Birr (piety and righteousness and each and every act of obedience to Allah) on the people and you forget to practice it yourselves..."

Narrated Abu Wail: Usama heard Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, "A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and thrown in the (Hell) Fire, so that his intestines will come out, and he will go around like a donkey goes around a millstone. The people of (Hell) Fire will gather around him and say: O so-and-so! What is wrong with you? Didn't you use to order us to do good deeds and forbid us to do bad deeds? He will reply: Yes, I used to order you to do good deeds, but I did not do them myself, and I used to forbid you to do bad deeds, yet I used to do them myself." (Translation of sahih Bukhari - Vol 4 Book 54 No.489)

A marvellous weekend, a cruisy week

2007-09-11T06:13:00.000+08:00

Went to Dunedin last weekend, it was wonderful. Had LOADS of fun... Watched Ratatoulli (loved the movie!!) - anyone can cook ;) Played monopoly till the early hours of dawn lol.. aku manang!! They said ku gila harta but who cares, the main thing is ku manang :P... I've never won that game until that night. That was fun. Thanks girls for the great game.... 2 weekends ago in Christchurch I played with Zanna tapi kalah... Start with monopoly... and maybe one day I can be one of the major players in the real estate business ...who knows... heheh I can dream... but aren't all achievements started with dreaming??? self motivation, effort and rezeki Allah will then determine whether the dream can come true.

I'm having a cruisy week so far, but it's only Tuesday...

Canoe, pantai, Brunei...

2007-09-02T12:53:00.000+08:00

Last weekend in Christchurch, Zanna, Naz and I went canoeing in one of the small rivers in the city centre. Fun!!! It was so easy too ;) haha I want to 'mark' it as my new hobby, if only I can do enough of it... I've always wanted to go canoeing or kayaking but never got the chance to until last week when Zanna came up with this brilliant idea :P

I've always loved the water... however ironically I can't swim lol... When I was little, I used to play at the beach near my grandparents' home in Penanjong. When the adults were busy fishing 'mengikis', we (the kids) spent hours playing with water and sand at the shore. However now Pantai Penanjong has undergone major reconstruction due to erosion. Hopefully one of these days dad would allow me to join him fishing 'ke laut bejaul or mengandang'. It's one of his long time hobby.

Buy hey, aren't Bruneians supposed to be very familiar with the sea/ water. Historically Brunei's centre of administration was on the Brunei river (Brunei's Kg Ayer). Most of our elderlies originated from the Kg. Ayer before they migrated ke darat (to the lands).
In Sanskrit, the word ‘Varunai’ means ‘seaborn’ – seafarers, mariners and living on water (Kampong Ayer) - from bruneiresources.blogspot.com

Am I losing it...

2007-09-02T09:03:00.000+08:00

I've decided to go home this Ramadhan (mid Ramadhan to be exact). I don't think I need to justify my reason for going but people keep on asking. "Wouldn't it be a waste of money?," they said. Is there a problem with that? My money, my time, my lost... not theirs. I'm not such an impulsive person who do things without thinking about the pros and cons first... I've thought about this over and over, and initially my plan was just to stay here and wait for December until it's time to go home for good. However things aren't that straight forward for me... Read my previous post... that's the reason why I insisted to go home... My hati dah nda tenteram, I need to go home and 'find myself again' and Ramadhan is a good month to do just that.

My spiritual need is suffering... I've tried my best to overcome it by sembahyang, bezikir etc etc... It's working but I need to work harder. Being with my family and spending the Ramadhan together will hopefully boost it even more. God bless...

7 years... I could continue to be here longer if I want to... continue training and go home as a Consultant instead of a mere House officer... but what's the rush huh? My thinking anyway... others might not like the way I'm thinking... I could go mad at this rate... I might snap!...

Society emphasizes so much on earning good money, more and more money... going for higher positions ASAP... but in doing so, we overlooked the basic human need as a Muslim.. what's the purpose of us being in this world?? We know the answer to that but we continuously forget when we're trying to strive for the world. Sigh... my ranting is probably just me not entirely happy with work at the moment... I need a break to recuperate... 4 more weeks to go... I'm happy with that thought (^_^)

Adakah hati kita sihat?

2007-08-28T16:46:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt like there's something wrong with you but you don't know what it is? Recently I've felt this way... Fikiran kusut, hati nda tenang... Tapi nda tahu kenapa... Badan pun selalu rasa letih... Nda rasa sihat langsung... Until I realised lately ni kewajipan terhadapNya sering kali dilalaikan. Tuntutan kerja membuatkan aku penat!! Penat dan sibuk sangat sampaikan terleka dari mengingatiNya. Kita selalu terleka dengan kesibukkan dunia hingga lupa untuk mensyukuri nikmatNya. Bukankan pekerjaan atu sumber rezeki yang merupakan salah satu dari nikmat yang Allah berikan?? Allah inda lupakan kita dengan memberi nikmat ani tapi sebaliknya kita jadikan pekerjaan sebagai alasan untuk lupa kepadaNya. Kita sepatutnya malu kepada Allah.

Hati adalah anugerah Allah. Rasa sayang, cinta, sedih, happy, excited... semua datang dari hati. Macam dalam filem soal hati "apa guna ada hati kalau tak dapat merasa" ;) Tapi kalau hati kita tak tenang, kusut... automatically our whole being doesn't feel right. Sebagai Muslim, ketenangan hati hanya dapat dicapai dengan mendekatkan diri kepada Allah dan mengingatiNya selalu. Mudahan kita kan menjadi hambaNya yang sentiasa ingat kepadaNya dan berada dalam keredhaanNya jua. Amin.

P/S: Zanna, pinjam ur seashells ;) I took this while u guys were doing ur study group.

Hargailah warga emas kita

2007-08-11T17:04:00.000+08:00

Roda kehidupan... everyone will get old eventually... I work and interact with the elderly all the time. A majority of the patients in the hospital are the elderly. I may not remember all of their names but some of the elderly patients would remain in my memory forever. Some of them had chronic medical conditions and they kept on coming back to the hospital, each time with an exacerbation of their illness. Eventually I got to know them and their family quite well...

Just recently my grandma was admitted to the hospital back home. My dad said that she's fine but I can't help feeling worried. All I can do from here is pray for her health. Dad said that she's a bit confused in the hospital. She kept thinking that she's at home and worried that she hasn't done her daily routine such as daily prayers, cooking for grandpa, etc etc. I think the main reason why she's confused is because she's in an unfamiliar environment. I miss her terribly, feels like I want to fly home right now.

When we asked our elderly relative to follow our instructions usually for their well-being and safety and they refused; we said they are being stubborn. Has it ever occurred to us that they also have a mind of their own?? They have lived up to 80 - 90++ and have always been independent all their life, suddenly we're taking away bit by bit that very thing that keeps their spirits up; telling them they can't do this and that anymore. Of course they're gonna protest. Usually they listen to us if we reason with them gently. Let them do the basic things they always do like cooking for the family, get them a helper if able so that the burden of their work is very much reduced. Monitor them but don't interfere too much... Just think how would you feel if you're in their shoes?? If they don't want to go to the hospital for minor problems, let them be... it's their choice. We must remember, they might be physically weak because of their age, but they still have their own mind. Keep them happy and smiling... Make them feel that their effort for bringing us up is worthwhile and they've done a good job. Love them unconditionally.

Dunedin next week... BBQ yummy

2007-06-16T02:06:00.000+08:00

Syidah texted me this morning asking if I would be going to Dunedin next week. She said if I'm free she's keen to come and visit me in Timaru. However I have decided earlier that I'm going down to Dunedin next week and actually planning to do a small BBQ at their place. I'm soooo looking forward to it. Ayam BBQ!!!! My stomach's growling already just thinking about it. Girls... wait for me... jangan start makan without me ah :P

Up is down

2007-06-16T01:35:00.000+08:00

For those who had watched 'Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's end' would probably understand why I titled this post 'up is down'. I've just finished my first set of night shifts - 7 days in a row working from 11pm till 8am the next day. A very new and amazing experience for me. Of course initially I was extremely apprehensive about it. For those who have lended their ears listening to me whinning about it would know just how apprehensive I was. But now I've successfully completed this task (and being the first of the first year houseofficers to actually have done this), I could give myself a pat at the shoulder and smile with pride. It was an accomplishment indeed. Doing night oncall means that houseofficer is the only doctor covering the whole hospital (Emergency, medical, surgical, O&G, paediatric, ICU & CCU, rehab ward and psych). I think I coped with it very well. I was based in ED because all patients would have to come through ED but I would be called every now and then to the wards when they're problems there. Some nights were quiet but when it's busy it was damn busy.

Being awake at night and catching up with sleep during daytime (hence up is down - day is night) was a difficult task initially but now that I've gotten used to the new routine, I have trouble going back to the old one. I couldn't sleep at all tonight... I lay in bed listening to my iPod, while my mind's racing thinking about lots of stuff... I thought of going out for a run but it's too freezing cold outside. Sigh...

Fasten your seatbelt friend, we're travelling together ;)

2007-06-09T13:00:00.000+08:00

A friend told me "friendship is a journey, the destination is not important. What's important is who you're 'travelling' with in that journey." This is a beautiful statement about friendship... friendship plays a big part in our life. Friends 'hold our hands' when we're in trouble, lend their shoulders for us to cry on without expecting anything in return. Friendship is all about giving and taking... Sincere friendship can bring great things... motivation, hope, moral support. Betul tak??? ;)

This pic has nothing to do with this post. This photo is taken by me ;) lawa right hehe... when we went for the gondola ride in Christchurch.

Salam June...

2007-06-09T12:30:00.000+08:00

My last entry was at end of April... now it's already June. Where did May go?? May was undoubtedly one of the busiest months for me but despite that I enjoyed it. Stressful but hughly satisfying. Those were the days when I was still doing my medical rotation.. Nowadays I'm a surgical houseofficer... not too bad but oh boy how i miss medical.. Anyway to cut story short, I think I'm a born physician... so surgical is just another part of the training for me before I go further into my career. But enough on that stuff eh...

How's life for everyone? To those who still pop their heads in this blog every now and then, thanks so much. I visited my buddies in Christchurch last week haha... Zanna, naz and nurus ;) we're buddies aye girls lol... That's what my colleague called u guys... When you guys drove me back to Timaru last week, Mohammed (my colleague a.k.a consultant) saw us driving down the Timaru main street. He saw girls wearing headscarf in a car (which is of course a rare sight in this small country town) and thought to himself "that must be Nora and her buddies" haha. Anyway I miss u girls, have a great holiday in Brunei... I envy u guys lahhh... I wanna go home jua!!! ;)

Hamner Springs

2007-04-30T17:41:00.000+08:00

Here I am back in Timaru... Had my Monday blues as usual especially after the fun weekend. Hamner Springs was really great, and it's such a beautiful tiny town. We stayed at a brand new motel for a night, bathed in the hot pools (we got the private pools), had a few treatments such as facial, massage and steam. I didn't get photos inside the pools area but here are a few pics of the town...

Dah ada plan for this weekend... ;)

2007-04-25T12:27:00.000+08:00

In my earlier post today I was whinning a bit on how bored I am today, and whether I should go to Christchurch, Dunedin or just stay here this weekend. Well, Zanna solved the problem for me heheh ;) She rang me this afternoon telling me that I should come to Christchurch this weekend and join them for the trip to Hamner Spring! Hamner Spring is one of the main attractions in the South Island of NZ with its hot water spring. I'm soooo excited ;) InsyaAllah I'll post a few pics from the trip here next week.

April's almost over

2007-04-25T09:23:00.000+08:00

Then comes May... Anything interesting going on in May?? Emm... Suhaimi's birthday... heheh but I've celebrated this with him well in advanced when I was still in Brunei a couple of weeks ago. I'm glad for that coz on the exact birthday date I'll be doing my weekend shift, probably just have time to drop off an sms +/- email. Miss u sangat :)
Then a week after that will be Naz's birthday... I'll probably come up to Christchurch to celebrate that with her and the other girls.

Apart from that, May will probably just be another month for me here. I'm really bored. This weekend, shall I come up to Christchurch or go down to Dunedin?? or just stay here in Timaru...
7 months in counting before I go home for good. There are pros and cons of going home for good of course but the most important thing is my loved ones are there.
Today is a public holiday here, I'm glad for the break in the middle of the week. Yesterday I was nearly over the moon when I got the official letter telling that I could reside at my current flat until the end of the contract + an apology from the hospital management.

Hikmah Ayat Al-Kursi

2007-04-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

1) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi apabila berbaring di tempat tidurnya, Allah SWT
mewakilkan dua orang Malaikat memeliharanya hingga subuh.

2) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir setiap sembahyang Fardhu, dia akan berada dlm lindungan Allah SWT hingga sembahyang yang lain.

3) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir tiap sembahyang,tidak menegah akan dia daripada masuk syurga kecuali maut dan barang siapa membacanya ketika hendak tidur, Allah SWT memelihara akan dia ke atas rumahnya, rumah jirannya dan ahli rumah-rumah disekitarnya.

4) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir tiap2 sembahyang fardhu, Allah SWT menganugerahkan dia setiap hati orang yg bersyukur,setiap perbuatan orang yg benar,pahala nabi2 serta Allah melimpahkan padanya rahmat.

5) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi sebelum keluar rumahnya, maka Allah SWT mengutuskan 70,000 Malaikat kepadanya – mereka semua memohon keampunan dan mendoakan baginya.

6) Barang siapa membaca ayat Al-Kursi di akhir sembahyang Allah SWT akan mengendalikan pengambilan rohnya dan dia adalah seperti orang yang berperang bersama Nabi Allah sehingga mati syahid.

7) Barang siapa yang membaca ayat Al-Kursi ketika dalam kesempitan nescaya Allah SWT berkenan memberi pertolongan kepadanya.

Dari Abdullah bin 'Amr r.a., Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda, Sampaikanlah pesanku biarpun satu ayat..."

My little ordeal... I nearly lost my flat!!

2007-04-21T06:11:00.000+08:00

I've just come back for work from my 2.5 weeks break, first day at work on Wednesday and everything was fine, not too busy... just right to help me picked up my pace again. That evening after dinner, Erica knocked on my door to give me all my accumulated mails. One of them was a letter from the hospital management telling me "due to a change in circumstances, it is necessary for you to move out from your current flat." My reaction? Of course I was appalled! They gave me a six weeks notice from the date of the letter and since I was on holiday, I only had 3 weeks left. That letter also told me that they're relocating me to another flat along with my furniture.

The thing that upset me the most was that I have settled down in my current flat... I love this flat so much... it is so comfortable and the flat they're about to relocate me to is sub-standard to this. That flat is very old and bound to be extremely cold in winter no matter how much heating you use. Furthermore it is a hassle to move in the middle of the year, to unpack and move, and to adapt to a new environment again. I remember how stressful it was to move from Dunedin to Timaru in November last year and now that I've settled down here, it's a big thing for me emotionally, physically, and psychologically to move to a new flat again.

After receiving that letter, I tried to calm myself down and reasoned with it. My plan was to see the management and asked for consideration for me to stay in this flat until end of this year as stated in the contract/lease signed previously. If that can't be done then I told myself to accept ' dengan redha', maybe this is a test from Allah for me. I called my special one and my dad for advice and both of them told me to talk to management and ask for consideration. Babah said he would pray for me.

The next day, I went to the accommodation department and the person in-charge was on leave so I called HR (human resources) instead. HR told me I should talk to the Head of Facilities, the person who probably had made this decision. I rang him and he told me they would want to turn my flat into an office space!! That was so selfish and unreasonable of him especially when someone is still staying in the flat. I was really upset! I asked him if the change could be delayed until end of this year and he said no! He told me since I had been on leave he would extend the date until end of May and no later. He also said that I could bring all the furniture in the flat I want and they would assist me in the moving process and this is not to put me into any disadvantage. How dare him say that when he perfectly knew well that the flat they were about to move me into was very much sub-standard to the current flat... And to move me when my 12 months period is not over, of course I am at a disadvantage no matter how much assistance they give.

My friends heard of this and they too thought this was ridiculous and one of them 'Mark' (Mark, I owe you one), told me to review the contract again and he insisted to see the Head of Facilities with me and gave management 'a piece of his mind'. He came in very strong I thought with his point and the Head of Facilities was rather 'pissed off' ;). The Head of Facilities then told us he would ask for a legal opinion on my contract and told me not to do anything before he contacted me again. Mark told me to contact NZ Resident Doctors' Association of which I am a member of. Members of this association are able to get free legal advice if they encounter any problems related to our employment. I think since this flat is hospital accommodation and hence is part of the District Health Board, they are able to help me. I talked to the representative of this assc. and faxed him all the details/documents. He then asked my contract to be read by their lawyers perhaps and that afternoon itself he rang to tell me that he would contact the Head of Facilities. The representative said the hospital management couldn't force me to move out until after the 12 months period is over or they have to pay the previous 5 months worth of rent back to me if they insisted as this was against the contract. He called me again that same afternoon telling me the good news that I could stay in the flat until the contract period is over. I was so happy. I fought for it and I won. Alhamdulillah!!!!

What I learned from this ordeal is that with prayers and effort, it can be done! When initially I told myself to accept and be 'redha', I don't think it was giving up. I think of it as 'menerima segala dugaan' and maybe 'ada hikmah di sebaliknya'. Cannot 'putus asa jua', keep on praying 'supaya Allah memudahkan segala urusan' plus put in a good effort, and for me in this case Allah has answered my prayers, He opened the way for me Alhamdulillah.

Long time no see...

2007-04-18T16:14:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Wahh it's been very long rupanya since i've updated this blog. More than 2 months ago tsk tsk... I'd just come back from 2 weeks vacation in Brunei. What a wonderful break!! I really had fun... There are many trips that people make around the globe... business trip, education, work, conference, shopping, holiday... but for me the best trip of all is definitely holiday at home!!! Really refreshing...

But of course being me... it took a while before i recover from my holiday mood. It used to be really long, the homesickness went on and on and on... but Alhamdulillah nowadays I'm getting better in controlling my emotions... Dah banyak kali practice... of course la i'm bound to get better :P I did cry sekejap tadi but biasa saja... lagipun there were lots of sweet memories in Brunei for me to reminisce ;)

I can't wait to be home for good and be with my loved ones. I tell you dear readers both of my parents even took holidays off work just for me... Love u mama and babah... Ejah, how's the drama? Went well? I heard u tertinggal one of your bags di rumah on the real drama day ;) Haru lahh :P To my bombastic 3 brothers adip, hafiz and rafie - stay cool :P hafiz n rafie, nanti kak balik we go jogging lagi di pantai ah with babah... Belumba? heheh Adip... balik from MTSSR tu lalu jalan highway saja laa... Mana cool lalu jalan kampong... If u do please be careful lah ah... U had so many close encounters already!!

Apart from my fantastic, sporting-to-the-max immediate family, I also had the chance to meet my extended family briefly, from my nini laki and nini bini to the latest cousin and niece. We celebrated the 55th birthday of my eldest uncle in a majlis doa kesyukuran. Lots of laughter in the family, I'm so glad i'm part of this amazing family Alhamdulillah.

This holiday I also had the chance to catch up with my bestfriend Imah... It had been nearly 2 years we nda jumpa so I'm glad we manage to catch up this time around. Fizan and Imah are still the same Fizan and Imah 11 years ago when together :P Still 'selahau' haha.
I also met my longtime chatter/friend briefly. Thanks for the kueh teaw... ;) and also for the help and support u've given me through the years.

Another best part of my holiday was when i had the chance to catch up with my special someone ;) Ahah... heheh U're very busy with work but still managed to find the time... I really appreciate that. This person accepts me for who I am... trusts me with all his heart and this person selalu teased me to the max hahah... really happy... membari kecarian your antiques atu :P In fact today I was thinking of what you said last time about brown sugar giving tea the special umph~ when I 'dengan angau'nya put 2 teaspoons of salt into my tea. I really thought i was putting sugar until i took my first sip of that horribly salty tea haha... I really appreciate your advice, support and understanding... thanks for the wonderful time in Brunei...

Tired... or just being lazy?

2007-02-06T07:35:00.000+08:00

I have been neglecting this blog lately... Busy? Yes and no... I'm busy with work but I do have those quiet times after work to type myself away in this blog. The fact is... I'm tired. Lately I prefer to just lie down in bed reading novels or lazying myself in the couch in front of the TV. Tired of life?? Not really lah... I still have lots to see and experience... I'm just literally physically tired. A friend told me I'm always tired because I let myself go tired by not doing anything... He said when I have free time I should do something, go out and do some exercise... Work is obviously exhausting... especially the long 15 hours shift... and back to work the next day... but I know I can cope with that, I'm still fresh in this business... But hey I shouldn't complain, life is great at the moment Alhamdulillah.

Kenyataan hidup di sebalik permainan ini

2007-01-23T12:18:00.000+08:00

(NB. A friend sent me this article via email. It's long but it's worth reading)

Seorang guru wanita sedang bersemangat mengajarkan sesuatu kepada murid-muridnya. Ia duduk menghadap murid-muridnya. Di tangan kirinya ada kapur, di tangan kanannya ada pemadam. Guru itu berkata, "Saya ada satu permainan... Caranya begini, ditangan kiri saya ada kapur, di tangan kanan ada pemadam. Jika saya angkat kapur ini, maka berserulah "Kapur!", jika saya angkat pemadam ini, maka katalah "Pemadam!"

Murid muridnya pun mengerti dan mengikuti. Guru berganti-gantian mengangkat antara kanan dan kiri tangannya, semakin lama semakin cepat. Beberapa saat kemudian guru kembali berkata, "Baik sekarang perhatikan. Jika saya angkat kapur, maka sebutlah "Pemadam!", jika saya angkat pemadam, maka katakanlah "Kapur!". Dan diulangkan seperti tadi, tentu saja murid-murid tadi keliru dan kekok, dan sangat sukar untuk mengubahnya. Namun lambat laun, mereka sudah biasa dan tidak lagi kekok. Selang beberapa saat, permainan berhenti.

Sang guru tersenyum kepada murid-muridnya. "Murid-murid, begitulah kita umat Islam. Mulanya yang haq itu haq, yang bathil itu bathil. Kita begitu jelas membezakannya. Namun kemudian, musuh musuh kita memaksakan kepada kita dengan perbagai cara, untuk menukarkan sesuatu, dari yang haq menjadi bathil, dan sebaliknya. Pertama-tama mungkin akan sukar bagi kita menerima hal tersebut, tapi kerana terus disosialisasikan dengan cara-cara menarik oleh mereka, akhirnya lambat laun kamu akan terbiasa dengan hal itu. Dan anda mulai dapat mengikutinya. Musuh-musuh kamu tidak pernah berhenti membalik dan menukar nilai dan ketika.

"Keluar berduaan, berkasih-kasihan tidak lagi sesuatu yang pelik, Zina tidak lagi jadi persoalan, pakaian seksi menjadi hal yang lumrah, tanpa rasa malu, sex sebelum nikah menjadi suatu kebiasaan dan trend, hiburan yang asyik dan panjang sehingga melupakan yang wajib adalah biasa, materialistik kini menjadi suatu gaya hidup dan lain lain." "Semuanya sudah terbalik. Dan tanpa disedari, anda sedikit demi sedikit menerimanya tanpa rasa ia satu kesalahan dan kemaksiatan. Paham?" tanya Guru kepada murid-muridnya. "Paham cikgu..."

"Baik permainan kedua..." begitu Guru melanjutkan. "Cikgu ada Qur'an,cikgu akan letakkannya di tengah karpet. Sekarang anda berdiri diluar karpet. Permainannya adalah, bagaimana caranya mengambil Qur'an yang ada ditengah tanpa memijak karpet?" Murid-muridnya berpikir . Ada yang mencuba alternatif dengan tongkat,dan lain-lain.

Akhirnya Guru memberikan jalan keluar, digulungnya karpet, dan ia ambil Qur'an. Ia memenuhi syarat, tidak memijak karpet."Murid-murid, begitulah ummat Islam dan musuh-musuhnya...Musuh-musuh Islam tidak akan memijak-mijak anda dengan terang-terang...Kerana tentu anda akan menolaknya mentah mentah. Orang biasapun tak akan rela kalau Islam dihina dihadapan mereka. Tapi mereka akan menggulung anda perlahan-lahan dari pinggir, sehingga anda tidak sadar.

"Jika seseorang ingin membuat rumah yang kuat, maka dibina tapak yang kuat. Begitulah Islam, jika ingin kuat, maka bangunlah aqidah yang kuat. Sebaliknya, jika ingin membongkar rumah, tentu susah kalau dimulai dgn tapaknya dulu, tentu saja hiasan-hiasan dinding akan dikeluarkan dulu, kerusi dipindahkan dulu, Almari dibuang dulu satu persatu, baru rumah dihancurkan..."

"Begitulah musuh-musuh Islam menghancurkan kita. Ia tidak akan menghentam terang-terangan, tapi ia akan perlahan-lahan meletihkan anda. Mulai dari perangai anda, cara hidup, pakaian dan lain-lain, sehingga meskipun anda muslim, tapi anda telah meninggalkan ajaran Islam dan mengikuti cara yang mereka... Dan itulah yang mereka inginkan." "Ini semua adalah fenomena Ghazwul Fikri (Perang Pemikiran). Dan inilah yang dijalankan oleh musuh musuh kita... "

"Kenapa mereka tidak berani terang-terang memijak-mijak cikgu?" tanya murid- murid. "Sesungguhnya dahulu mereka terang-terang menyerang, misalnya Perang Salib, Perang Tartar, dan lain-lain. Tapi sekarang tidak lagi." "Begitulah Islam... Kalau diserang perlahan-lahan, mereka tidak akan sedar, akhirnya hancur. Tapi kalau diserang serentak terang-terangan, mereka akan bangkit serentak, baru mereka akan sadar".

"Kalau begitu, kita selesaikan pelajaran kita kali ini, dan mari kita berdoa dahulu sebelum pulang..." Matahari bersinar terik takala anak-anak itu keluar meninggalkan tempat belajar mereka dengan pikiran masing-masing di kepalanya...

UMAT ISLAM SEMAKIN MUDAH DIBELI DENGAN WANG RINGGIT, DILALAIKAN DENGAN KEINDAHAN DAN MEMUJA KESERONOKAN HIDUP, HINGGA HILANG MARUAH DAN HARGA DIRI!!

Nasi lemak oh nasi lemak....

2007-01-23T11:23:00.000+08:00

Me and a couple of friends were discussing the topic on food cravings a few days ago. Yes it might sound lame discussing about food cravings because everyone craves for that special food every now and then... What's the big deal? Ahahh... For those whose taste buds are 100% Malay, try living in a country where 'nasi lemak' is a rare delicacy... where 'pais daging' is unheard of... What would you do when you crave for 'ikan salai cacah sambal,' 'udang masak tumis' or 'ketam kari masak kampung' but the ingredients to actually make these food are unavailable...

I was watching TV a few days ago and there was this ad saying 'NZ has the best seafood in the world' hmmm... try again... I've been here for more than 6 years but the only real 'ketam' i've seen was when I was dining in this highly expensive highly overated seafood restaurant in Dunedin. There are more fresh ketam in Brunei 'pasar'... or perhaps I wasn't looking at the right places for the 'ketam' here... anyway that's a side track.

Back to the topic of food cravings... the 3 of us agreed that when we crave for Bruneian food here, our imaginations would make it heavenly tasty. But when we are actually at home in Brunei, the food is on the table, when the taste bud finally has its satisfaction... the food that we've been craving for months and months suddenly doesn't taste like what we've imagined. It's just ordinary 'nasi lemak' after all................ But I still love and crave for the 'ketam kari' cooked by my dad ;)

Wanita dalam Islam

2007-01-08T17:28:00.000+08:00

Rasullulah SAW bersabda:

"Dunia ini penuh perhiasan dan perhiasan yang paling indah ialah wanita yang solehah."
- (Riwayat Muslim)

"Jika seseorang wanita menunaikan solat lima waktu, berpuasa sebulan Ramadan, memelihara kehormatannya, mentaati suaminya, nescaya dia dapat masuk ke mana-mana saja pintu syurga menurut kehendaknya." - (Riwayat Imam Ahmad)

"Mana-mana isteri yang meninggal dunia, sedangkan suaminya reda kepadanya, nescaya isterinya akan masuk syurga." - (Riwayat Al-Hakim dan Tirmizi)

"Ada empat wanita mulia yang juga penghulu segala wanita di dunia; mereka itu ialah Asiah binti Muzahim, isteri Firaun; Maryam binti Imran, ibunda Isa; Khadijah binti Khuwailid, isteri Rasulullah saw dan Fatimah binti Muhammad, puteri kesayangan Baginda."
- (Riwayat Bukhari)

Just life...

2007-01-04T15:36:00.000+08:00

Many people say 'enjoy your student life while you still can because once you start working things will be a lot different.' They claim that being a student was the best time of their life. I agree to this only to a certain extent. This is because now being in the early days of my working life, I feel less pressure compared to when I was still a medical student. Maybe my say here is biased by the fact that my current boss is very approachable, the staff here is extremely helpful and friendly, I have my own flat like I've always wanted when I was still in Dunedin... and not to forget the biggest motivation of all: $$$$ coming in every fortnightly lol.

I do feel the occasional stress especially when things get very busy. And I don't like it when I get home and ready to go to sleep, suddenly my mind is racing and my eyes wide open thinking of a patient in the ward. "Oh no I forgot to stop Mr So and so's clexane... hope he doesn't get a big bleed" etc etc...
It's so hard to believe that I've been working for 6 weeks now.

I remember how stressful and emotional I was during my last days in Dunedin before beginning my new life here in Timaru. Moving to a new place is stressful enough with all the packing I had to do... then the thought of starting work was extremely daunting. Now I realise no matter how stressful a situation can be, I'll just have to face it because once it's done, it's done!

But of course I still miss Dunedin. No matter how much I like this current flat compared to the flats I had in Dunedin, nothing can beat the memories, the experiences, friends, the culture, the supermarket, and the sense of security Dunedin have given and shared with me. Every time I go to Dunedin from anywhere in New Zealand, it feels like going back to Brunei (to a lesser extent). It feels like going home!!!... and certainly Dunedin is my second home after Brunei.

Halal fish??

2007-01-03T16:59:00.000+08:00

I feel tired today. My day at work wasn't too bad, by 1.30pm I'd finished the day's job. In fact, it was an 'easy' day compared to the hectic ones I had for 3 days in a row just before New Year's holiday. Exactly at 4pm I went home. I had a headache so I took an early shower to refresh myself. Performed my zuhur prayer and prepared dinner. Just before 6pm, one of my friends knocked on my door... It was Erica.

"Hey Nora, would you like to join us for dinner at Sukhothai?"
"Emm, what time are you guys going?"
"Mark said 7pm"
"I don't think i'm up to it, I kinda have a headache."
"Okay, i'll just tell the guys you're not coming. Take some panadol."

When she left, I thought to myself... 'hmm maybe I should go... I'm keen to try that red curry.' So I went to knock on Mark and Ben's place... We're all neighbours, we live just a few steps from each other :)

"Hey Mark, I'll come if we go a lil bit early"
"How early do you want?"
"Emm say 6.30"
"Okay, 6.30 sounds good"

I ordered stir-fried seafood in red curry (I couldn't remember the Thai name for that dish) but it was excellent. I consider myself as a fast eater and those who are close to me especially back home in Brunei would know how good I am with food ;). Tonight was the first ever I finished last. Savouring the food slowly or these guys eat a heck faster than I am. Usually with my Bruneian friends, I finish the first lol.

Ben: "Let's go to New World (my fav. supermarket) after this"
Me: "Yeah let's go... I need to buy halal beef there which is not sold in the other supermarkets"

Mark: "Nora, does fish need to be halal as well before you could eat it?"
Me: "No."
Mark:"I thought so too, Ben wasn't so sure last time. But why is that?"
Me: "Emm maybe because fish doesn't have much blood in it compared to cows and chicken... so unlike cows and chicken, you don't need to slaughter fish in a specific way to drain most of its blood." "Besides when fish are off the water, they're dead anyway"
Mark: "Hmm true... there's no other way with fish aye. You wouldn't jump into the water and slaughter fish before they're off the water..."

I'm sure there is a better answer to the question. I realise my knowledge about Islam and its hukum is very limited. Sometimes we never thought about these kind of things until we are forced to think about it.

Bahasa melambangkan bangsa

2007-01-02T10:05:00.000+08:00

(Perhatian: Mungkin tajuk yang membosankan untuk sesetengah pembaca ...)
Banarkah bahasa ani melambangkan bangsa? Kalau menulis ani pakai cakap melayu baku andangnya payah. Labih biasa mun pakai cakap Brunei atau cakap omputih hehe. Kalau buat karangan sekulah dulu baru pakai bahasa melayu baku. Kali ani ku kan cabar diri sendiri menulis pakai cakap Brunei, inda bolih ada satu perkataan pun omputih ;) hehehe Kan becakap pasal bahasa ani... ku setujulah, bahasa memang melambangkan bangsa. Kalau kitani becampur sama2 orang Malaysia, Singapura, Indonesia, dan Brunei... usul kitani sama, usul orang Melayu. Tapi cuba kitani becakap, barangkali sesama Melayu atu sendiri inda berapa faham kali mun cara becakapnya lain. Orang Brunei cemani bahasanya, Indonesia lain lagi bunyinya. Malaysia dan Melayu Singapura sama sedikitlah kali bunyinya. Tapi dalam Malaysia atu sendiri lagi banyak bahasa2 durang atau dialek durang. Orang utara lain bunyi durang becakap, orang Sarawak lain lagi cara bahasanya.

Tapi walaupun bahasa ani memainkan peranan yang penting dalam perhubungan kitani sesama manusia. Apa yang lagi penting ialah budi bahasa kitani. Apa guna kitani pandai 4-5 buting bahasa mun cara percakapan kitani dengan orang lain kasar dan inda menunjukkan bangsa kitani. Kitani selalu dangar lah promosi2 dalam radio kadang2 dan dari damit lagi kana bagitau orang Brunei ani tinggi budi bahasanya. Jangan saja karang sama orang atasan atau behubung dengan orang kita inda kenal lambut kitani becakap. Tapi mun sama keluarga, sama indung dan adi-beradi kasar bunyi kitani, inda mau mengalah tu. Banyak saja ni cemani ani dan kadang2 ku sendiri pun terbuat jua.

Dan lagi kitani ani luan terdedah arah bermacam2 bahasa di rumah atu. Buka saja TV macam2 rancangan... Indon, Malaysia, Inggeris, Tamil, Hindustan, Mandarin, Korea, Jipun... emm apalagi ah... tapi cuba yang meliat TV Brunei... dalam seratus buah rumah, dapat dikira dengan jari siapa yang meliat TV Brunei. Drama2 dalam TV Brunei atu banyak jualah yang memakai cakap Brunei. Akhir2 ani banyak jualah yang bisai2 dramanya, ganya ku ni jarang banar pulang meliat hehe setahun sekali ada kali lah... tapi kadang2 ada ku liat dulu luan teriak2 kasar bahasanya. Atukah imej yang kita kan liatkan arah orang luar dan jua generasi muda kitani yang orang Brunei ani becakap emosi dan kasar??? Selalunya arah sitcom2 tu... kan cali ani inda semestinya kasar.

Emm kalau ada terkasar atau tersalah cakap seribu kemaafan ku pinta. Hanya kan meluahkan apa yang di fikiran. Ku ni banyak kelemahan...

Middle Earth??

2007-01-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

Those who watched Lord of the Ring (LOTR) trilogy would surely know what i'm talking about. In LOTR: The two towers, before the Battle of Helm's Deep, on their way to Rohan, you would notice a lot of these rock formations in the movie. When we (me, Naz, Zanna, Hana & Teo) went for a roadtrip to Central Otago in July 2006, we came across an abundance of these rock formations just before we reached the small town of Middlemarch. The first photo is one of the many photos we took that day. I borrowed the second photo from LOTR card game's fan network website

An unexpected guest ;)

2007-01-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

What's a better way to spend the new year's holiday than playing with computer game ;) Delicious deluxe... I finally downloaded it off a bittorrent site last night... I was well into the game when suddenly, the corner of my eye caught a moving black object on the floor!!! Shocked and terrified, I let out a small scream before it finally registered in my mind that the moving black object was a fluffy black and white CAT!! The fluffy little thing managed to sneak in through the open window without my knowledge haha... or perhaps I was too engrossed playing the game... Well anyway he's a very welcomed albeit an unexpected guest. I thoroughly enjoyed his company this afternoon ;)

Meow...............

Happy New Year 2007

2006-12-31T19:03:00.000+08:00

My new year's resolution is....... to be happy!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

2006-12-31T07:05:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha untuk semua. Semoga Allah sentiasa memberkati dan merahmati kita.

Keep the prayers going

2006-12-26T10:49:00.000+08:00

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. stressed that:
Only sincere prayers can change the way events unfold

and remember...

"Allah does not change a favor that He has conferred upon people until they change their own condition...” (al-Anfal: 53)

What is success?

2006-12-26T09:11:00.000+08:00

A majority of us would think that those who have achieved their ambitions in life are the most successful and fortunate of people. Most people work hard to achieve what they want in life and usually it revolves around career and social status. Without ambition, it’s difficult for an individual to be focused in what he/she aims for in life. Without ambition, there would be very little motivation for us to strive further in life, which could result in us feeling confused about life and our direction ahead.

There are people who tend to go with the flow; they are comfortable of being ‘pushed’ along any direction life tends to offer. Nevertheless they never lack the drive to go forward towards the direction of success but probably with less passion. Then there are people who have always had a goal in mind. They work their way towards that goal no matter how difficult the path they’re choosing is going to be, they will continue in that direction. There are also people who are unable to endure the challenges, or have made the wrong choice that they have to find a different pathway to continue.

Whatever direction we’re all heading, we could never get away with difficulties and challenges, heartache and frustration. But bear in mind, it is the hardship that will eventually ‘shape’ our identity, test our maturity and perseverance.

Sometimes when things get really bad, we tend to question ourselves “why did I choose this path in the first place? Why didn’t I go for the easier ride? Will I ever make it?”
During those hard times when we have very little confidence in ourselves, pause for a while and think back to our original goal. What do we want to achieve... Think about the people who have always been there for us, people who have never stopped praying for our happiness and success. Don’t let ourselves down and don’t let these people down. React in a positive way! Accept the challenge and believe that we can do it too.

During our journey towards success, make sure we don’t become ‘slaves’ to our own goals. We must let ourselves enjoy the journey and learn from the adventure. It is the ride that actually teaches us the most about life, not the destination.

Once we’ve achieved our goal, what’s next? Make a new one! :) In my opinion, success is when we’ve achieved happiness. And… happiness is when we are able to share the joy of our success with those people who meant the world to us.

What's for lunch? ;P

2006-12-26T07:53:00.000+08:00

French fries, squid rings, pizza and iced milo for lunch... sounds nice huh? ;) I made the pizza myself and turned out i didn't even eat it. Why is it when we put so much effort into cooking something, at the end of the day when it's cooked, we don't have the appetite to eat it anymore?? Especially when we're eating alone...

Shall we toss the coin?

2006-12-24T08:46:00.000+08:00

Choices... Decisions... Everyone wants to do the right thing, everyone wants the best to happen. Everyone desires happy outcome in every situation. However we must realise that we live in the real world, not a world of fantasy. We live in a world where wrong decisions have their consequences, where happy outcome is sometimes non-existence. We live in a world where you have to lose something in order to gain something, where hearts and promises sometimes may have to be broken in pursue of the right decision.

Someone once told me not so long ago that if we are faced with difficult decisions and we're not sure which one is the best for us, toss a coin. If after the first toss you're not satisfied and wanted another try, then you know deep down in your heart, you've always wanted the other choice. Sometimes it's really difficult to rationalise why we choose one over the other. Sometimes it seems so obvious why we should choose something over the other but despite this, our heart feels so heavy to go ahead with the choice. Brain and heart might not work hand and hand in many situations.

It's easy to say 'just go with the flow, let the future unfolds itself'. One day we just have to choose one. Maybe deep down in our heart, we've already made the choice but it's just so difficult to let it out in the open. Or maybe it's just still very hazy and waiting for the clouds to clear away so that the answer will be crystal clear. Shall we just follow our heart?? Or shall we sacrifice our happiness for the sake of others??

Islam has an answer for this. It's just a matter of how sincere we are in our actions. Solat Istikharah is Allah's gift for Muslims in choosing difficult situations, bearing in mind our heart must be pure and sincere in asking for Allah's direction. Islam says: if after few repeated solats, we are very incline towards a decision, stick to it because that might be what Allah has chosen for us. What's best for us might not be what we've always wanted and Allah knows best.

Lightning splits the sky

2006-12-20T17:13:00.000+08:00

I would like to share a poem i wrote about 3 years ago...

Lightning splits the sky
Thunder shakes the earth
The heart is crying
Over the knotty circumstances

Thunder shakes the earth
Water then showers the land
Over the knotty circumstances
Honesty and prejudice battle each other

Water then showers the land
Washing away the exuberance
Honesty and prejudice battle each other
Victory must go to honesty

Washing away the exuberance
Black curtains blanketing hope
Victory must go to honesty
As prejudice undermines respect

Black curtains blanketing hope
But look within, the candle is still burning
As prejudice undermines respect
Let honesty returns the pride

But look within, the candle is still burning
The inner strength never dies
Let honesty returns the pride
Let trust causes the sun to rise

The inner strength never dies
The lesson is to grasp hope tightly
Let trust causes the sun to rise
Lightning splits the sky.

By Nora

The graduation...

2006-12-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

As expected, it was one of the happiest moments in my life. And..... happiest moments in life can only be meaningful if we share it with people we love. Celebrating my graduation and sharing the joy of the day with mama, babah, and my youngest brother was more than i could have ever asked for. Special thanks to mama and babah for being there for me all along, and thanks for being able to make it to the biggest day of my academic life. And thanks also to family, friends and relatives who have supported me all these while from near and far.

It's funny that the years of waiting and hard work all came down to that one day and the piece of paper saying i've achieved what i've dreamt of. However graduating isn't the end, in fact it's the beginning of a whole new journey...

Too cold... brrrrr

2006-12-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

During my parents and brother's visit to NZ, I brought them around. We drove to Timaru and Christchurch, and back to Dunedin. Mostly for sight seeing rather than shopping. We had a great time. Amazing time!! However my parents decided that the weather especially in Dunedin was too cold for them hehehe... it hasn't been a good summer so far though in terms of the weather. I must admit myself the weather could still be 'wintery' in Dunedin even at this time of the year.

In Chrischurch we went punting in the park, in Timaru we visited the Rose Garden, and in Dunedin we enjoyed feeding the hungry ducks in the botanical garden haha... We also visited lots of other places and overall my family enjoyed it here. I was quite sad though when they went back, really wish i could go home with them. However i'm sure time flies by very fast...as a lovely old lady whom i met in a bus ride from Dunedin to Timaru told me last week ''the 12 months period will pass by like a blink of an eye.''

The grand arrival.... ;)

2006-12-14T16:36:00.000+08:00

I've just come back to work yesterday after a week's leave. A very special week... when my parents and youngest brother for the first time came to visit me here in NZ. They came all the way from Brunei to attend a very special event: my graduation :) Anyway before they came i made some preparations mainly cooking coz i knew they would be starving from the long long flight to Dunedin. I also hired a car especially for them... a good time to finally use my international driving license ;) Having said that... i've never driven in NZ before... and the last time i drove was back in August when i was home in Brunei. I hired a black sporty Mazda...very cute.. My heart was pounding like mad when i first drove the car. I was so scared hehe... and i managed to get a $40 ticket for parking that car in an unauthorised parking area just a few hours after i hired it!!! So unlucky!!! Getting a speeding ticket is probably more like me... but a parking ticket??!!! Tsk tsk.. Anyway when it's time to pick my family up from the airport, i drove the car ever so slowly (so very NOT like me...and my heart was pounding crazily all the way, i was so scared driving for the first time in NZ)... I was a bit late when i arrived at the airport... i parked the car far away from the airport main entrance. Then i went to find them... when i finally found my family, they were busily getting their luggage at baggage claim! No wonder they didn't turn up at the gate where i was waiting... they were at baggage claim already... haha... maybe i was too slow for them... I felt so happy to finally meet my parents here in Dunedin... I had waited 6 years for that moment to come. I confidently told them i would bring them to my place using a car ;) but that confidence was ruined when i had a hard time trying to find the car because i didn't remember where i parked it and i had no idea what the plate number was (i hadn't had the chance to really look at the car yet u see hehe)... all i knew it was mazda and it was black haha... but of course i found it in the end and way we went to my flat. When my dad sat next to me in the car, my confidence level rose significantly and i drove the car like i usually drove back in Brunei...with extra care of course ;)

Lost...

2006-11-28T13:36:00.000+08:00

Two words best describe my first day of work: lost and overwhelmed. The first 2 days were orientation days to familiarize ourselves with the new environment, the system, and the staff. I didn’t realize this hospital is very much smaller than the hospital where I did my training at. Good thing with smaller/rural hospitals are: lots of opportunities to do various procedures as a first year postgrad and the pay is slightly higher for similar position :P

Forgive and forget

2006-11-25T15:50:00.000+08:00

Be Forgiving
When the Prophet Mohammad (SAW) asked his companions, “Do you wish that Allah should forgive you?” they said, “Of course O Prophet of Allah.” He responded:

Be Willing to Forget
Things that happened in the past must be left there and not be used as fresh ammunition in new situations.

Be Aware of Feelings
Prophet Mohammad (SAW) stated that Allah forgives all sins if we repent but not those we have committed against others, i.e. hurt their feelings, unless the person we have hurt forgives first

-copy and paste from islamonline.com-

Two more days...

2006-11-25T15:25:00.000+08:00

Two more days before i start work...
Quite nervous... I'm not sure which one scares me the most and in what order...
New environment, new people, new responsibilities...
I don't think i'm ready to face arrest situations....
I'm scared laaaa

Spherical boulders

2006-11-24T17:18:00.000+08:00

These spherical boulders are called Moeraki boulders. I went to see these boulders with some friends on our way back to Dunedin from Oamaru last year. Each of these boulders was formed similar to the way a pearl is formed around a particle in an oyster. Amazing isn't it? Another evidence of Allah's greatness as a Creator. And who are we to question Allah's ruling?

Procrastination is a serious illness

2006-11-24T16:18:00.000+08:00

When it comes to doing things, how many of us would complete the chores on the dot? And how many would brush it off and say ''Yeah, I'll do it later, still have time''? Procrastination is definitely a serious illness. Throughout the years, i've learnt so many things the hard way. I must admit a majority of the time it was because i procrastinated. I left things to the last minute... Sometimes things that didn't appear to be important or urgent, i would simply stack it away thinking that i'd come back to it at a later time. Yeah, learning things the 'hard way' can be beneficial because it'll stick to the mind forever. We learn how to organise things urgently!! Ain't that good?? If we have a terrible time completing something... of course we'll take note of it so that the same mistake will not be repeated next time. However it would save sooooo much time and energy if we do things on time. It would also save us the stress!!! The work we do will be more organised, we don't panic, we don't tend to leave out things, everything will be done on time... And i'm sure everyone knows this fact: relaxing after a job's done is way more satisfying than taking our time and worrying about it all the way ;)

Why am i talking about this?
3 months ago when i received a letter saying i have been offerred a year's contract with one of the hospitals here, along came with it multiple forms that need to be filled in. There was one form regarding income tax and IRD numbers etc etc (I still don't understand how it works but it's regarding income tax). I did ask my future employer about that form but he said if i don't know how to fill in that form, just bring it on the first day of work and we'll fill it in together. Being an ignorant being like myself, plus my procrastinating habit, i just put the form away and said to myself "okay, that's to be sorted out later." I never saw that form again until a few days ago...
What happened a few days ago?? A few days ago my friend asked me if i have an IRD number already... and erkkk!!! What's an IRD number again???? She said i need to have an IRD number before the gov't can tax my income. She simply put it as "No IRD number, no salary, no money". That's more like it... simple and easy to understand ;) I started to panic. An application for IRD number would usually take 2 weeks (10 days the minimum). I have been in NZ for 6 years... 6 years!!!! I'm sure everyone agrees that i have ample time to apply for an IRD number. But there i was, 5 days before starting work... just knew about IRD number. To cut long story short, I made an urgent application, made some phone calls, faxed a few letters...and walaa... i got my IRD number in less than 24 hours!!! Hehehe.... Yeah I've learnt how to make an urgent application, so i know what to do when faced with similar situation next time... but it would have saved me lots of time, energy and stress if i have done it earlier. So dear readers... Please don't make procrastination our culture.

Clear blue sky

2006-11-23T14:39:00.000+08:00

Another beautiful view of NZ countryside. Taken by me when i was doing my rural GP attachment. When mata and tumpuan ke arah urusan dunia, cubalah once in a while dongak ke langit....look at the beautiful clear blue sky... pujilah ciptaan Allah...Subhanallah... mesti hati tenang!!

Homesick today

2006-11-23T13:58:00.000+08:00

Homesick today... Rindu towards babah and mama di Brunei.
It all started when I read this e-novel about a daughter who went to Ireland to study Medicine. She's the favourite among her 3 siblings to her daddy. One day her daddy told her she's promised to a man chosen by him. The girl however had given her heart to another guy so she disagreed strongly to her daddy's decision. She went back to Ireland to finish her study. She rarely spoke to her dad even though deep down she missed him terribly. Every time when she called home, she always refused to talk to him. When she finished her study and went home, she discovered that her daddy had passed away. He wrote her a letter before he died saying that he only wanted the best for her since she's his dearest daughter. Time went by...and indeed the man chosen by her daddy was the right one for her... She wasted her time arguing with her dad, not talking to him when he was alive trying to prove her point that she disagreed with his decision....... only to find out later that his dad's choice was the best.

What has this story got anything to do with me??? Nothing!! ;)
But it makes me realise that pengorbanan ayah and ibu jarang kita fikirkan... We only think about our kesusahan but we rarely think about kesusahan/kepayahan ayah and ibu kita dalam mendidik and membesarkan kita. They want the best for us but sometimes kita salah erti kan hasrat diorang. Apalah sangat pengorbanan kita berbanding dengan pengorbanan babah and mama kita yang melahirkan, membesarkan, memberi pelajaran and kebahagiaan selama ni.
Yeah maybe their decisions, their choices aren't necessarily the best for us... but tolaklah dengan cara baik, jangan berkasar, and if they insist, apa salahnya kita cuba menyenangkan hati mereka... But having said this, i do realise anything yang berkenaan dengan hati and perasaan memang among the toughest issues of adult life... hmmm

Opening a new chapter...

2006-11-23T13:14:00.000+08:00

It might be difficult to summarize the last 6 years of my life in one sentence...but here goes: In summary, i have been here in NZ for the past 6 years studying to become a doctor.

Now...

I've finished my study, just awaiting for my graduation in 2 weeks time!! Babah and mama are coming... seronoknyeeee.... ;) But I'm a bit anxious, this coming Monday i'll be starting work. I have to move to a new town, meet new people, work in a hospital i've never laid eyes on... Might sound exciting to the adventurous souls out there but quite scary for me... I'm in the process of leaving Dunedin, this amazing little city which has left millions of memories. Berat rasa hati untuk tinggalkan this place, this place is like a second home for me after Brunei...
Masa ni sedang packing barang2... penat sungguh!!! Berat sungguh the barang2... rasa kan patah tulang belakang ni (*exaggerating mode ON hehe)... Emosi pun kurang stabil lately ni....
I realise that i should be happy coz i've achieved my ambition, sudah tunaikan hasrat di hati and harapan babah and mama to see me berjaya... Sepatutnya lebih bersemangat to work coz from now on i'll be able to rasa rezeki Allah hasil titik peluh sendiri...

Allahu Akbar

2006-11-23T12:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we become too engrossed in our never ending work, assignments, financial problems, and other worldly problems that we forget to look around. Keindahan ciptaan Allah yang boleh menenangkan hati yang runsing, jiwa yang stressed gagal dimanfaatkan oleh kita. I've been here in NZ for 6 years and only this year i had the chance to see this amazing sight. This is Central Otago in the middle of winter.

Welcome

2006-11-23T11:35:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Welcome dear readers to 'a snapshot of my life'! I've never blogged before... What drives me to start blogging?? I don't have an answer to that. For the past few years i've enjoyed reading other people's blogs. I view blogging as a way of providing others with a snapshot of the blogger's life. Their opinions, their views, the way they live... their tears and laughters... Some just blog for the fun of it ;) Each and everyone of us is different. By sharing we can learn from each other... I've also come across blogs that share knowledge about Ad-Din... Stories that can make us think about the reason of our existence... Not to mention stories that are so funny that it cheers up our day...
Enjoy reading.... a snapshot of my life!!