Tired... or just being lazy?

I have been neglecting this blog lately... Busy? Yes and no... I'm busy with work but I do have those quiet times after work to type myself away in this blog. The fact is... I'm tired. Lately I prefer to just lie down in bed reading novels or lazying myself in the couch in front of the TV. Tired of life?? Not really lah... I still have lots to see and experience... I'm just literally physically tired. A friend told me I'm always tired because I let myself go tired by not doing anything... He said when I have free time I should do something, go out and do some exercise... Work is obviously exhausting... especially the long 15 hours shift... and back to work the next day... but I know I can cope with that, I'm still fresh in this business... But hey I shouldn't complain, life is great at the moment Alhamdulillah.

Kenyataan hidup di sebalik permainan ini

(NB. A friend sent me this article via email. It's long but it's worth reading)

Seorang guru wanita sedang bersemangat mengajarkan sesuatu kepada murid-muridnya. Ia duduk menghadap murid-muridnya. Di tangan kirinya ada kapur, di tangan kanannya ada pemadam. Guru itu berkata, "Saya ada satu permainan... Caranya begini, ditangan kiri saya ada kapur, di tangan kanan ada pemadam. Jika saya angkat kapur ini, maka berserulah "Kapur!", jika saya angkat pemadam ini, maka katalah "Pemadam!"

Murid muridnya pun mengerti dan mengikuti. Guru berganti-gantian mengangkat antara kanan dan kiri tangannya, semakin lama semakin cepat. Beberapa saat kemudian guru kembali berkata, "Baik sekarang perhatikan. Jika saya angkat kapur, maka sebutlah "Pemadam!", jika saya angkat pemadam, maka katakanlah "Kapur!". Dan diulangkan seperti tadi, tentu saja murid-murid tadi keliru dan kekok, dan sangat sukar untuk mengubahnya. Namun lambat laun, mereka sudah biasa dan tidak lagi kekok. Selang beberapa saat, permainan berhenti.

Sang guru tersenyum kepada murid-muridnya. "Murid-murid, begitulah kita umat Islam. Mulanya yang haq itu haq, yang bathil itu bathil. Kita begitu jelas membezakannya. Namun kemudian, musuh musuh kita memaksakan kepada kita dengan perbagai cara, untuk menukarkan sesuatu, dari yang haq menjadi bathil, dan sebaliknya. Pertama-tama mungkin akan sukar bagi kita menerima hal tersebut, tapi kerana terus disosialisasikan dengan cara-cara menarik oleh mereka, akhirnya lambat laun kamu akan terbiasa dengan hal itu. Dan anda mulai dapat mengikutinya. Musuh-musuh kamu tidak pernah berhenti membalik dan menukar nilai dan ketika.

"Keluar berduaan, berkasih-kasihan tidak lagi sesuatu yang pelik, Zina tidak lagi jadi persoalan, pakaian seksi menjadi hal yang lumrah, tanpa rasa malu, sex sebelum nikah menjadi suatu kebiasaan dan trend, hiburan yang asyik dan panjang sehingga melupakan yang wajib adalah biasa, materialistik kini menjadi suatu gaya hidup dan lain lain." "Semuanya sudah terbalik. Dan tanpa disedari, anda sedikit demi sedikit menerimanya tanpa rasa ia satu kesalahan dan kemaksiatan. Paham?" tanya Guru kepada murid-muridnya. "Paham cikgu..."

"Baik permainan kedua..." begitu Guru melanjutkan. "Cikgu ada Qur'an,cikgu akan letakkannya di tengah karpet. Sekarang anda berdiri diluar karpet. Permainannya adalah, bagaimana caranya mengambil Qur'an yang ada ditengah tanpa memijak karpet?" Murid-muridnya berpikir . Ada yang mencuba alternatif dengan tongkat,dan lain-lain.

Akhirnya Guru memberikan jalan keluar, digulungnya karpet, dan ia ambil Qur'an. Ia memenuhi syarat, tidak memijak karpet."Murid-murid, begitulah ummat Islam dan musuh-musuhnya...Musuh-musuh Islam tidak akan memijak-mijak anda dengan terang-terang...Kerana tentu anda akan menolaknya mentah mentah. Orang biasapun tak akan rela kalau Islam dihina dihadapan mereka. Tapi mereka akan menggulung anda perlahan-lahan dari pinggir, sehingga anda tidak sadar.

"Jika seseorang ingin membuat rumah yang kuat, maka dibina tapak yang kuat. Begitulah Islam, jika ingin kuat, maka bangunlah aqidah yang kuat. Sebaliknya, jika ingin membongkar rumah, tentu susah kalau dimulai dgn tapaknya dulu, tentu saja hiasan-hiasan dinding akan dikeluarkan dulu, kerusi dipindahkan dulu, Almari dibuang dulu satu persatu, baru rumah dihancurkan..."

"Begitulah musuh-musuh Islam menghancurkan kita. Ia tidak akan menghentam terang-terangan, tapi ia akan perlahan-lahan meletihkan anda. Mulai dari perangai anda, cara hidup, pakaian dan lain-lain, sehingga meskipun anda muslim, tapi anda telah meninggalkan ajaran Islam dan mengikuti cara yang mereka... Dan itulah yang mereka inginkan." "Ini semua adalah fenomena Ghazwul Fikri (Perang Pemikiran). Dan inilah yang dijalankan oleh musuh musuh kita... "

"Kenapa mereka tidak berani terang-terang memijak-mijak cikgu?" tanya murid- murid. "Sesungguhnya dahulu mereka terang-terang menyerang, misalnya Perang Salib, Perang Tartar, dan lain-lain. Tapi sekarang tidak lagi." "Begitulah Islam... Kalau diserang perlahan-lahan, mereka tidak akan sedar, akhirnya hancur. Tapi kalau diserang serentak terang-terangan, mereka akan bangkit serentak, baru mereka akan sadar".

"Kalau begitu, kita selesaikan pelajaran kita kali ini, dan mari kita berdoa dahulu sebelum pulang..." Matahari bersinar terik takala anak-anak itu keluar meninggalkan tempat belajar mereka dengan pikiran masing-masing di kepalanya...

UMAT ISLAM SEMAKIN MUDAH DIBELI DENGAN WANG RINGGIT, DILALAIKAN DENGAN KEINDAHAN DAN MEMUJA KESERONOKAN HIDUP, HINGGA HILANG MARUAH DAN HARGA DIRI!!

Nasi lemak oh nasi lemak....

Me and a couple of friends were discussing the topic on food cravings a few days ago. Yes it might sound lame discussing about food cravings because everyone craves for that special food every now and then... What's the big deal? Ahahh... For those whose taste buds are 100% Malay, try living in a country where 'nasi lemak' is a rare delicacy... where 'pais daging' is unheard of... What would you do when you crave for 'ikan salai cacah sambal,' 'udang masak tumis' or 'ketam kari masak kampung' but the ingredients to actually make these food are unavailable...

I was watching TV a few days ago and there was this ad saying 'NZ has the best seafood in the world' hmmm... try again... I've been here for more than 6 years but the only real 'ketam' i've seen was when I was dining in this highly expensive highly overated seafood restaurant in Dunedin. There are more fresh ketam in Brunei 'pasar'... or perhaps I wasn't looking at the right places for the 'ketam' here... anyway that's a side track.

Back to the topic of food cravings... the 3 of us agreed that when we crave for Bruneian food here, our imaginations would make it heavenly tasty. But when we are actually at home in Brunei, the food is on the table, when the taste bud finally has its satisfaction... the food that we've been craving for months and months suddenly doesn't taste like what we've imagined. It's just ordinary 'nasi lemak' after all................ But I still love and crave for the 'ketam kari' cooked by my dad ;)

Wanita dalam Islam

Rasullulah SAW bersabda:

"Dunia ini penuh perhiasan dan perhiasan yang paling indah ialah wanita yang solehah."
- (Riwayat Muslim)

"Jika seseorang wanita menunaikan solat lima waktu, berpuasa sebulan Ramadan, memelihara kehormatannya, mentaati suaminya, nescaya dia dapat masuk ke mana-mana saja pintu syurga menurut kehendaknya." - (Riwayat Imam Ahmad)

"Mana-mana isteri yang meninggal dunia, sedangkan suaminya reda kepadanya, nescaya isterinya akan masuk syurga." - (Riwayat Al-Hakim dan Tirmizi)

"Ada empat wanita mulia yang juga penghulu segala wanita di dunia; mereka itu ialah Asiah binti Muzahim, isteri Firaun; Maryam binti Imran, ibunda Isa; Khadijah binti Khuwailid, isteri Rasulullah saw dan Fatimah binti Muhammad, puteri kesayangan Baginda."
- (Riwayat Bukhari)

Just life...

Many people say 'enjoy your student life while you still can because once you start working things will be a lot different.' They claim that being a student was the best time of their life. I agree to this only to a certain extent. This is because now being in the early days of my working life, I feel less pressure compared to when I was still a medical student. Maybe my say here is biased by the fact that my current boss is very approachable, the staff here is extremely helpful and friendly, I have my own flat like I've always wanted when I was still in Dunedin... and not to forget the biggest motivation of all: $$$$ coming in every fortnightly lol.

I do feel the occasional stress especially when things get very busy. And I don't like it when I get home and ready to go to sleep, suddenly my mind is racing and my eyes wide open thinking of a patient in the ward. "Oh no I forgot to stop Mr So and so's clexane... hope he doesn't get a big bleed" etc etc...
It's so hard to believe that I've been working for 6 weeks now.

I remember how stressful and emotional I was during my last days in Dunedin before beginning my new life here in Timaru. Moving to a new place is stressful enough with all the packing I had to do... then the thought of starting work was extremely daunting. Now I realise no matter how stressful a situation can be, I'll just have to face it because once it's done, it's done!

But of course I still miss Dunedin. No matter how much I like this current flat compared to the flats I had in Dunedin, nothing can beat the memories, the experiences, friends, the culture, the supermarket, and the sense of security Dunedin have given and shared with me. Every time I go to Dunedin from anywhere in New Zealand, it feels like going back to Brunei (to a lesser extent). It feels like going home!!!... and certainly Dunedin is my second home after Brunei.

Halal fish??

I feel tired today. My day at work wasn't too bad, by 1.30pm I'd finished the day's job. In fact, it was an 'easy' day compared to the hectic ones I had for 3 days in a row just before New Year's holiday. Exactly at 4pm I went home. I had a headache so I took an early shower to refresh myself. Performed my zuhur prayer and prepared dinner. Just before 6pm, one of my friends knocked on my door... It was Erica.

"Hey Nora, would you like to join us for dinner at Sukhothai?"
"Emm, what time are you guys going?"
"Mark said 7pm"
"I don't think i'm up to it, I kinda have a headache."
"Okay, i'll just tell the guys you're not coming. Take some panadol."

When she left, I thought to myself... 'hmm maybe I should go... I'm keen to try that red curry.' So I went to knock on Mark and Ben's place... We're all neighbours, we live just a few steps from each other :)

"Hey Mark, I'll come if we go a lil bit early"
"How early do you want?"
"Emm say 6.30"
"Okay, 6.30 sounds good"

I ordered stir-fried seafood in red curry (I couldn't remember the Thai name for that dish) but it was excellent. I consider myself as a fast eater and those who are close to me especially back home in Brunei would know how good I am with food ;). Tonight was the first ever I finished last. Savouring the food slowly or these guys eat a heck faster than I am. Usually with my Bruneian friends, I finish the first lol.

Ben: "Let's go to New World (my fav. supermarket) after this"
Me: "Yeah let's go... I need to buy halal beef there which is not sold in the other supermarkets"

Mark: "Nora, does fish need to be halal as well before you could eat it?"
Me: "No."
Mark:"I thought so too, Ben wasn't so sure last time. But why is that?"
Me: "Emm maybe because fish doesn't have much blood in it compared to cows and chicken... so unlike cows and chicken, you don't need to slaughter fish in a specific way to drain most of its blood." "Besides when fish are off the water, they're dead anyway"
Mark: "Hmm true... there's no other way with fish aye. You wouldn't jump into the water and slaughter fish before they're off the water..."

I'm sure there is a better answer to the question. I realise my knowledge about Islam and its hukum is very limited. Sometimes we never thought about these kind of things until we are forced to think about it.

Bahasa melambangkan bangsa

(Perhatian: Mungkin tajuk yang membosankan untuk sesetengah pembaca ...)
Banarkah bahasa ani melambangkan bangsa? Kalau menulis ani pakai cakap melayu baku andangnya payah. Labih biasa mun pakai cakap Brunei atau cakap omputih hehe. Kalau buat karangan sekulah dulu baru pakai bahasa melayu baku. Kali ani ku kan cabar diri sendiri menulis pakai cakap Brunei, inda bolih ada satu perkataan pun omputih ;) hehehe Kan becakap pasal bahasa ani... ku setujulah, bahasa memang melambangkan bangsa. Kalau kitani becampur sama2 orang Malaysia, Singapura, Indonesia, dan Brunei... usul kitani sama, usul orang Melayu. Tapi cuba kitani becakap, barangkali sesama Melayu atu sendiri inda berapa faham kali mun cara becakapnya lain. Orang Brunei cemani bahasanya, Indonesia lain lagi bunyinya. Malaysia dan Melayu Singapura sama sedikitlah kali bunyinya. Tapi dalam Malaysia atu sendiri lagi banyak bahasa2 durang atau dialek durang. Orang utara lain bunyi durang becakap, orang Sarawak lain lagi cara bahasanya.

Tapi walaupun bahasa ani memainkan peranan yang penting dalam perhubungan kitani sesama manusia. Apa yang lagi penting ialah budi bahasa kitani. Apa guna kitani pandai 4-5 buting bahasa mun cara percakapan kitani dengan orang lain kasar dan inda menunjukkan bangsa kitani. Kitani selalu dangar lah promosi2 dalam radio kadang2 dan dari damit lagi kana bagitau orang Brunei ani tinggi budi bahasanya. Jangan saja karang sama orang atasan atau behubung dengan orang kita inda kenal lambut kitani becakap. Tapi mun sama keluarga, sama indung dan adi-beradi kasar bunyi kitani, inda mau mengalah tu. Banyak saja ni cemani ani dan kadang2 ku sendiri pun terbuat jua.

Dan lagi kitani ani luan terdedah arah bermacam2 bahasa di rumah atu. Buka saja TV macam2 rancangan... Indon, Malaysia, Inggeris, Tamil, Hindustan, Mandarin, Korea, Jipun... emm apalagi ah... tapi cuba yang meliat TV Brunei... dalam seratus buah rumah, dapat dikira dengan jari siapa yang meliat TV Brunei. Drama2 dalam TV Brunei atu banyak jualah yang memakai cakap Brunei. Akhir2 ani banyak jualah yang bisai2 dramanya, ganya ku ni jarang banar pulang meliat hehe setahun sekali ada kali lah... tapi kadang2 ada ku liat dulu luan teriak2 kasar bahasanya. Atukah imej yang kita kan liatkan arah orang luar dan jua generasi muda kitani yang orang Brunei ani becakap emosi dan kasar??? Selalunya arah sitcom2 tu... kan cali ani inda semestinya kasar.

Emm kalau ada terkasar atau tersalah cakap seribu kemaafan ku pinta. Hanya kan meluahkan apa yang di fikiran. Ku ni banyak kelemahan...

Middle Earth??

Those who watched Lord of the Ring (LOTR) trilogy would surely know what i'm talking about. In LOTR: The two towers, before the Battle of Helm's Deep, on their way to Rohan, you would notice a lot of these rock formations in the movie. When we (me, Naz, Zanna, Hana & Teo) went for a roadtrip to Central Otago in July 2006, we came across an abundance of these rock formations just before we reached the small town of Middlemarch. The first photo is one of the many photos we took that day. I borrowed the second photo from LOTR card game's fan network website

An unexpected guest ;)

What's a better way to spend the new year's holiday than playing with computer game ;) Delicious deluxe... I finally downloaded it off a bittorrent site last night... I was well into the game when suddenly, the corner of my eye caught a moving black object on the floor!!! Shocked and terrified, I let out a small scream before it finally registered in my mind that the moving black object was a fluffy black and white CAT!! The fluffy little thing managed to sneak in through the open window without my knowledge haha... or perhaps I was too engrossed playing the game... Well anyway he's a very welcomed albeit an unexpected guest. I thoroughly enjoyed his company this afternoon ;)






Meow...............

Happy New Year 2007

My new year's resolution is....... to be happy!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha untuk semua. Semoga Allah sentiasa memberkati dan merahmati kita.

Keep the prayers going

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. stressed that:
Only sincere prayers can change the way events unfold

and remember...

"Allah does not change a favor that He has conferred upon people until they change their own condition...” (al-Anfal: 53)

What is success?

A majority of us would think that those who have achieved their ambitions in life are the most successful and fortunate of people. Most people work hard to achieve what they want in life and usually it revolves around career and social status. Without ambition, it’s difficult for an individual to be focused in what he/she aims for in life. Without ambition, there would be very little motivation for us to strive further in life, which could result in us feeling confused about life and our direction ahead.

There are people who tend to go with the flow; they are comfortable of being ‘pushed’ along any direction life tends to offer. Nevertheless they never lack the drive to go forward towards the direction of success but probably with less passion. Then there are people who have always had a goal in mind. They work their way towards that goal no matter how difficult the path they’re choosing is going to be, they will continue in that direction. There are also people who are unable to endure the challenges, or have made the wrong choice that they have to find a different pathway to continue.

Whatever direction we’re all heading, we could never get away with difficulties and challenges, heartache and frustration. But bear in mind, it is the hardship that will eventually ‘shape’ our identity, test our maturity and perseverance.

Sometimes when things get really bad, we tend to question ourselves “why did I choose this path in the first place? Why didn’t I go for the easier ride? Will I ever make it?”
During those hard times when we have very little confidence in ourselves, pause for a while and think back to our original goal. What do we want to achieve... Think about the people who have always been there for us, people who have never stopped praying for our happiness and success. Don’t let ourselves down and don’t let these people down. React in a positive way! Accept the challenge and believe that we can do it too.

During our journey towards success, make sure we don’t become ‘slaves’ to our own goals. We must let ourselves enjoy the journey and learn from the adventure. It is the ride that actually teaches us the most about life, not the destination.

Once we’ve achieved our goal, what’s next? Make a new one! :) In my opinion, success is when we’ve achieved happiness. And… happiness is when we are able to share the joy of our success with those people who meant the world to us.

What's for lunch? ;P

French fries, squid rings, pizza and iced milo for lunch... sounds nice huh? ;) I made the pizza myself and turned out i didn't even eat it. Why is it when we put so much effort into cooking something, at the end of the day when it's cooked, we don't have the appetite to eat it anymore?? Especially when we're eating alone...

Shall we toss the coin?

Choices... Decisions... Everyone wants to do the right thing, everyone wants the best to happen. Everyone desires happy outcome in every situation. However we must realise that we live in the real world, not a world of fantasy. We live in a world where wrong decisions have their consequences, where happy outcome is sometimes non-existence. We live in a world where you have to lose something in order to gain something, where hearts and promises sometimes may have to be broken in pursue of the right decision.

Someone once told me not so long ago that if we are faced with difficult decisions and we're not sure which one is the best for us, toss a coin. If after the first toss you're not satisfied and wanted another try, then you know deep down in your heart, you've always wanted the other choice. Sometimes it's really difficult to rationalise why we choose one over the other. Sometimes it seems so obvious why we should choose something over the other but despite this, our heart feels so heavy to go ahead with the choice. Brain and heart might not work hand and hand in many situations.

It's easy to say 'just go with the flow, let the future unfolds itself'. One day we just have to choose one. Maybe deep down in our heart, we've already made the choice but it's just so difficult to let it out in the open. Or maybe it's just still very hazy and waiting for the clouds to clear away so that the answer will be crystal clear. Shall we just follow our heart?? Or shall we sacrifice our happiness for the sake of others??

Islam has an answer for this. It's just a matter of how sincere we are in our actions. Solat Istikharah is Allah's gift for Muslims in choosing difficult situations, bearing in mind our heart must be pure and sincere in asking for Allah's direction. Islam says: if after few repeated solats, we are very incline towards a decision, stick to it because that might be what Allah has chosen for us. What's best for us might not be what we've always wanted and Allah knows best.

Lightning splits the sky

I would like to share a poem i wrote about 3 years ago...

Lightning splits the sky
Thunder shakes the earth
The heart is crying
Over the knotty circumstances

Thunder shakes the earth
Water then showers the land
Over the knotty circumstances
Honesty and prejudice battle each other

Water then showers the land
Washing away the exuberance
Honesty and prejudice battle each other
Victory must go to honesty

Washing away the exuberance
Black curtains blanketing hope
Victory must go to honesty
As prejudice undermines respect

Black curtains blanketing hope
But look within, the candle is still burning
As prejudice undermines respect
Let honesty returns the pride

But look within, the candle is still burning
The inner strength never dies
Let honesty returns the pride
Let trust causes the sun to rise

The inner strength never dies
The lesson is to grasp hope tightly
Let trust causes the sun to rise
Lightning splits the sky.

By Nora

The graduation...

As expected, it was one of the happiest moments in my life. And..... happiest moments in life can only be meaningful if we share it with people we love. Celebrating my graduation and sharing the joy of the day with mama, babah, and my youngest brother was more than i could have ever asked for. Special thanks to mama and babah for being there for me all along, and thanks for being able to make it to the biggest day of my academic life. And thanks also to family, friends and relatives who have supported me all these while from near and far.

It's funny that the years of waiting and hard work all came down to that one day and the piece of paper saying i've achieved what i've dreamt of. However graduating isn't the end, in fact it's the beginning of a whole new journey...

Too cold... brrrrr

During my parents and brother's visit to NZ, I brought them around. We drove to Timaru and Christchurch, and back to Dunedin. Mostly for sight seeing rather than shopping. We had a great time. Amazing time!! However my parents decided that the weather especially in Dunedin was too cold for them hehehe... it hasn't been a good summer so far though in terms of the weather. I must admit myself the weather could still be 'wintery' in Dunedin even at this time of the year.

In Chrischurch we went punting in the park, in Timaru we visited the Rose Garden, and in Dunedin we enjoyed feeding the hungry ducks in the botanical garden haha... We also visited lots of other places and overall my family enjoyed it here. I was quite sad though when they went back, really wish i could go home with them. However i'm sure time flies by very fast...as a lovely old lady whom i met in a bus ride from Dunedin to Timaru told me last week ''the 12 months period will pass by like a blink of an eye.''

The grand arrival.... ;)

I've just come back to work yesterday after a week's leave. A very special week... when my parents and youngest brother for the first time came to visit me here in NZ. They came all the way from Brunei to attend a very special event: my graduation :) Anyway before they came i made some preparations mainly cooking coz i knew they would be starving from the long long flight to Dunedin. I also hired a car especially for them... a good time to finally use my international driving license ;) Having said that... i've never driven in NZ before... and the last time i drove was back in August when i was home in Brunei. I hired a black sporty Mazda...very cute.. My heart was pounding like mad when i first drove the car. I was so scared hehe... and i managed to get a $40 ticket for parking that car in an unauthorised parking area just a few hours after i hired it!!! So unlucky!!! Getting a speeding ticket is probably more like me... but a parking ticket??!!! Tsk tsk.. Anyway when it's time to pick my family up from the airport, i drove the car ever so slowly (so very NOT like me...and my heart was pounding crazily all the way, i was so scared driving for the first time in NZ)... I was a bit late when i arrived at the airport... i parked the car far away from the airport main entrance. Then i went to find them... when i finally found my family, they were busily getting their luggage at baggage claim! No wonder they didn't turn up at the gate where i was waiting... they were at baggage claim already... haha... maybe i was too slow for them... I felt so happy to finally meet my parents here in Dunedin... I had waited 6 years for that moment to come. I confidently told them i would bring them to my place using a car ;) but that confidence was ruined when i had a hard time trying to find the car because i didn't remember where i parked it and i had no idea what the plate number was (i hadn't had the chance to really look at the car yet u see hehe)... all i knew it was mazda and it was black haha... but of course i found it in the end and way we went to my flat. When my dad sat next to me in the car, my confidence level rose significantly and i drove the car like i usually drove back in Brunei...with extra care of course ;)

Lost...

Two words best describe my first day of work: lost and overwhelmed. The first 2 days were orientation days to familiarize ourselves with the new environment, the system, and the staff. I didn’t realize this hospital is very much smaller than the hospital where I did my training at. Good thing with smaller/rural hospitals are: lots of opportunities to do various procedures as a first year postgrad and the pay is slightly higher for similar position :P