Friday, May 8, 2009
My poor abandoned blogspot $@#^&* I plan to make it active again...
I'm home now. New Zealand has become my past life since 1.5 years ago. Yet it is still very much in my heart...
Currently I'm blending myself into the health community here. I'm content with the path that I've chosen in this career. I'm training to be a GP.
The other part of my life is.... hmm.... let's just say I didn't expect things to become quite complicated... but then who said life is easy??
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Last night, it started off quiet. A few patients came to ED but there were only minor cases. I spent most of the early part of the night surfing the net. However at 0415 am when I was just thinking about eating my sahur, the crash alarm went off which meant someone was having a cardiac arrest. It turned out to be in ICU and when I arrived there the nurses had already started chest compressions as per the CPR protocol. We tried our best for 15 min when we finally stopped and declared him dead.
At 0715 to my horror, another crash alarm went off, again in ICU. I ran up from ED so fast I thought I could win the marathon (lol... exaggerating mode ON). Anyway on a serious note, when I arrived as usual the nurses had already started CPR, and we worked on him for about 5 min, gave him a shot of adrenaline and I intubated him when suddenly he 'came back', he started breathing and his heart started to beat again. Alhamdulillah!!
What made that night memorable was 2 cardiac arrests in one night is just so rare (in this hospital that is). And it was my first time ever to deal with it during night duty when I was the only doctor in the hospital. The consultants arrived when the actions were over. I learnt a lot despite the initial fright. I didn't even have time to panic which was a good thing lol... Just get into action. Thank you Allah for helping me in such difficult times.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Al-Baqarah (2: 238)
"Guard strictly (five obligatory) As-Salawat (the prayers) especially the middle Salat. And stand before Allah with obedience."
Friday, September 21, 2007
After finishing this task, I'll be leaving for home for my 3 weeks holiday. May my holiday spending Ramadhan in Brunei with my family be blessed by Allah. Two things can happen at home depending on my ability to control my nafs (nafsu). First, i could become slack with Brunei preparing for Hari Raya, with having a car making it easy for me to go shopping, lots of special TV programmes (the so-called Ramadhan/Raya special), lots of food tempting me to buy and eat lots. May Allah protect me from being slack. The second possibility is that with the support of my family, relatives, friends and Muslimin in Brunei, i'll be able to observe the month of Ramadhan with more taqwa. Furthermore being on leave from work means I have more time for Allah. My aim is for the later and that is the main purpose I decided to go home. May Allah give me strength to control my nafs and not destroy my initial intention. Amin...
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Allah said: "and when My slaves ask you concerning Me, tell them I am near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright."
Allah will respond to our du'a as long as we obey Allah and believe in Him.
Ask ourselves what's our final destination?? We die and then we have the HereAfter (Akhirah) to wait for. What's our goal? Paradise or otherwise? So when we say our du'a we should always ask for both of this world and also Akhirah. When we asked Allah to murahkan rezeki, we must think of the aim of asking for the increased rezeki i.e. so that we are able to spend it for Allah's cause (e.g. to help our parents, the poor, the orphans, to share our knowledge with others, to help our society with the job Allah gave us, etc). May Allah guides us to the right path.
Al-Baqarah (2:200 -202)
'...But of mankind there are some who say: "Our Lord! Give us Your Bounties in this world!" and for them there is no portion in the Hereafter.'
'And some of them say: "Our Lord! Give us in this world and also in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire.'
'For them there will be alloted a share for what they have earned...'
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I am truly tired today. Had spent the whole day assisting in operating theatre, 2 big operations and a few minor ones... My feet are aching, my shoulders' sore...
In terms of my prayers, i feel I'm slack today because of this. My khusyuk during solat was disrupted to a certain extent today. Have I tried my best to focus? Maybe not... I should try harder... This is exactly what I'm scared of... Physically tired from doing worldly matters to the extent of affecting our preparation for Akhirah... Should it be like this? I don't think so. If my Iman is strong enough I should be able to withstand this no matter how tired my body feels. Rasulullah SAW himself used to pray until his feet were swollen.
Narrated Al-Mughira: The Prophet used to stand (in the prayer) or pray till both his feet or legs swelled. He was asked why (he offered such an unbearable prayer) and he said, "should I not be a thankful slave." (Sahih Bukhari)
It shows how weak I am still... Being tired doesn't mean we should decrease our ibadah and it isn't an excuse for not being khusyuk in our solat. We should remember Allah in good and bad times and we should be more patient (sabar). May Allah give me strength to overcome this test.
"Therefore remember Me (Allah), I will remember you, and be grateful to Me and never be ungrateful."
"O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat. Truly! Allah is with the As-Sabirun (the patient/sabar)."
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Narrated Abu Huraira: Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, "When the month of Ramadan comes, the gates of
Ramadhan is a special month and hence let us not make it similar to any other month. Let us reduce the time spent on worldly needs and pleasures. Instead lets feed our suffering souls by remembering Allah and increasing the amount of good deeds. May Allah give us hidayah.
"O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may learn self-restraint"
Let us remind ourselves together and not be someone who reminds others of amar maaruf nahi munkar (doing good deeds and forbidding from sin) but we ourselves fail to do it. Nau'zubillah...
"Enjoin you Al- Birr (piety and righteousness and each and every act of obedience to Allah) on the people and you forget to practice it yourselves..."
Narrated Abu Wail: Usama heard Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, "A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and thrown in the (Hell) Fire, so that his intestines will come out, and he will go around like a donkey goes around a millstone. The people of (Hell) Fire will gather around him and say: O so-and-so! What is wrong with you? Didn't you use to order us to do good deeds and forbid us to do bad deeds? He will reply: Yes, I used to order you to do good deeds, but I did not do them myself, and I used to forbid you to do bad deeds, yet I used to do them myself." (Translation of sahih Bukhari - Vol 4 Book 54 No.489)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I'm having a cruisy week so far, but it's only Tuesday...
Sunday, September 2, 2007
I've always loved the water... however ironically I can't swim lol... When I was little, I used to play at the beach near my grandparents' home in Penanjong. When the adults were busy fishing 'mengikis', we (the kids) spent hours playing with water and sand at the shore. However now Pantai Penanjong has undergone major reconstruction due to erosion. Hopefully one of these days dad would allow me to join him fishing 'ke laut bejaul or mengandang'. It's one of his long time hobby.
In Sanskrit, the word ‘Varunai’ means ‘seaborn’ – seafarers, mariners and living on water (Kampong Ayer) - from bruneiresources.blogspot.com
My spiritual need is suffering... I've tried my best to overcome it by sembahyang, bezikir etc etc... It's working but I need to work harder. Being with my family and spending the Ramadhan together will hopefully boost it even more. God bless...
7 years... I could continue to be here longer if I want to... continue training and go home as a Consultant instead of a mere House officer... but what's the rush huh? My thinking anyway... others might not like the way I'm thinking... I could go mad at this rate... I might snap!...
Society emphasizes so much on earning good money, more and more money... going for higher positions ASAP... but in doing so, we overlooked the basic human need as a Muslim.. what's the purpose of us being in this world?? We know the answer to that but we continuously forget when we're trying to strive for the world. Sigh... my ranting is probably just me not entirely happy with work at the moment... I need a break to recuperate... 4 more weeks to go... I'm happy with that thought (^_^)
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
P/S: Zanna, pinjam ur seashells ;) I took this while u guys were doing ur study group.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Just recently my grandma was admitted to the hospital back home. My dad said that she's fine but I can't help feeling worried. All I can do from here is pray for her health. Dad said that she's a bit confused in the hospital. She kept thinking that she's at home and worried that she hasn't done her daily routine such as daily prayers, cooking for grandpa, etc etc. I think the main reason why she's confused is because she's in an unfamiliar environment. I miss her terribly, feels like I want to fly home right now.
When we asked our elderly relative to follow our instructions usually for their well-being and safety and they refused; we said they are being stubborn. Has it ever occurred to us that they also have a mind of their own?? They have lived up to 80 - 90++ and have always been independent all their life, suddenly we're taking away bit by bit that very thing that keeps their spirits up; telling them they can't do this and that anymore. Of course they're gonna protest. Usually they listen to us if we reason with them gently. Let them do the basic things they always do like cooking for the family, get them a helper if able so that the burden of their work is very much reduced. Monitor them but don't interfere too much... Just think how would you feel if you're in their shoes?? If they don't want to go to the hospital for minor problems, let them be... it's their choice. We must remember, they might be physically weak because of their age, but they still have their own mind. Keep them happy and smiling... Make them feel that their effort for bringing us up is worthwhile and they've done a good job. Love them unconditionally.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Being awake at night and catching up with sleep during daytime (hence up is down - day is night) was a difficult task initially but now that I've gotten used to the new routine, I have trouble going back to the old one. I couldn't sleep at all tonight... I lay in bed listening to my iPod, while my mind's racing thinking about lots of stuff... I thought of going out for a run but it's too freezing cold outside. Sigh...
Saturday, June 9, 2007
This pic has nothing to do with this post. This photo is taken by me ;) lawa right hehe... when we went for the gondola ride in Christchurch.
How's life for everyone? To those who still pop their heads in this blog every now and then, thanks so much. I visited my buddies in Christchurch last week haha... Zanna, naz and nurus ;) we're buddies aye girls lol... That's what my colleague called u guys... When you guys drove me back to Timaru last week, Mohammed (my colleague a.k.a consultant) saw us driving down the Timaru main street. He saw girls wearing headscarf in a car (which is of course a rare sight in this small country town) and thought to himself "that must be Nora and her buddies" haha. Anyway I miss u girls, have a great holiday in Brunei... I envy u guys lahhh... I wanna go home jua!!! ;)